I will fight for you

To my Children,

I am not perfect, no one is, and I am well aware of my emotional moments and lack of energy of late.

Mummy is not so well, and some days feel like a real battle.

The recent school holidays were a tad full on. As we know, one night right as Daddy walked through the door, home from work, with dinner ready on the table, I walked out.

A day of constant arguing with each other, and with me, of misbehaving, of back chat and bad manners and stressful moments, I felt my blood boiling, and my tether having been reached to its end. I picked up my car keys, told you all I was done and walked out.

Bad planning on my behalf, with no shoes, food splattered, sweat stained clothes, I was in no state to go treat myself to a coffee and cake as I would have liked…… so I did the groceries.

It was the break I needed.

We all hugged and apologized when I returned home, and while some days feel like a real battle between us , I want to let you know one thing.

I will always fight for you

You have both had moments in your life where I have found myself going to numerous doctors, until I would find one who would listen to me, and assist with your health issues.

Noah, as a baby, it took 6 doctors, and me crying all over the last one before we got to the bottom of your health dramas.

Kiara, we had to stand up for you so much when we found that the amount of glue you had in your ears had made you profoundly deaf, thankfully we finally were able to get grommets put in your ears, and have never looked back since.

No matter what life throws your way,

I will fight for you

Kids, I know you think I am mean when I tell you to pour your own drink, or get your own snack, when you ask me to do it for you.

I want you to learn to be independent, to do things for yourself and not think I am just your slave.

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Kiara, when you say you don’t want to go to school because someone is teasing you, I suggest ways in which you can handle it yourself, and keep a close eye that it is not getting out of hand.

I do not immediately step in, because I want you to learn early how to avoid conflict and resolve  situations, as one day you will be a teenager at your first job, and I will not be able to stand in for you then and fight your battles.

By teaching you to stand up for yourself and believe in yourself.

I am fighting for you

If there are areas that you both struggle in, and you need help, I will get it for you.

I am your Mum, I love you unconditionally, and want what is best for you.

I will fight for you

I am not here to make your life easy, just to guide you along it’s path, so some days you will wonder why I am not doing more for you, I just want you to know, I am not here to live your life, and some times you need to be the one to do the learning, just know, no matter how hard things get,

I am always here, fighting for you, and alongside you

I hope this week you saw some examples of how I am willing to fight for you.

Kiara, you had your cross country on Thursday, you had been looking forward to the day.

I stood at the starting line with you, prepared to take some photos, when you hugged me tight and tears poured down your face.

I asked what was wrong, and you told me you were too scared to run, you begged me to take you home, and your tears had turned into loud sobs by this stage.

There was no way I was taking you home, and I knew you would be upset when you realized you had not run the race, so without a thought, I threw my inappropriate shoes off, attempted to tuck my long, loose pants up, and prepared to run with you, holding your hand the whole way.

cross country 2

I fought your battle with you

It was hard, damm hard.

2 days later, my calf muscles are still aching, and my feet are scarred from all those prickles I stood on.

We laughed along the way,

I was not feeling so well that day, and the pressure of running left me feeling rather ill for a good few hours, but it was all worth it,

Just to fight for you

cross country

You were overjoyed when I picked you up from school that day to tell me that your sports team had won.

 I reminded you that by participating, you had contributed to their win, getting them a point for just completing the race.

That made you smile.

And Noah, this week

I have fought for you too

Despite being constantly told to stop mucking up at bath time, you both continue to run wild in there.

The day that we all predicted came.

You fell over in there while slipping and sliding and split you chin open.

I wanted to yell “I told you this would happen”, to both you, and your sister,

But I saw the fear in your eyes as the blood poured out.

Instead I held a towel to your cut, and hugged you close, letting you know

I would fight for you

I found a medical centre open, and got you in there, another emergency meant we had to wait a while.

Daddy met us there after his late shift.

I held your hand and whispered calm words as the Doctor glued your chin back together.

You looked so frightened.

I was there to let you know

I am always fighting for you

You have added a scar to your bank of scars, and we finally were able to get you and your sister home to bed, you chin will be better soon, and the Doctor was so lovely, despite being kept back at work well after his finish time.

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Kids, you need to know something, I know I seem cranky at times, I am emotional and drained, and doing my best.

I love you, even when life seems so tough.

I will fight for you

Mummy and Daddy have just purchased a new business  with one of the main factors for the purchase being the increase of family time it will allow us to have.

We are fighting for you

Know no matter what battles you have to fight in life, no matter what mountains you need to climb.

I am here, right beside you, every step of the way,

because, as your Mummy, I promise, every single day

I will fight for you

xoxo

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4 thoughts on “I will fight for you

  1. Wow what a powerful read, I could learn a lesson or two from this believe me! I am sad at the fact that sometimes I have no idea what you actually go through but know that I look at you (from afar) and I see a strong, talented, confident, beautiful woman that I have had the pleasure of knowing for years. You will one day look back and see that you have made it through this constant battle. Your kids are beautiful, you guys are awesome, I have every faith in you all xxxxxx

  2. Bless you Mama! Your heart is on the outside of your body. Its your babies. When you walk out and say your done, please know your not alone, your family knows your human and lovez you so much just as you love them.

    Your babies are so lucky to have a Mama like you. ♥xoxo

  3. Alicia – you are doing an amazing job and I am hoping this new business is just right for you guys. This parenting gig is such a tightrope to walk.

    When my 9 year old was in year 1 she freaked out at the sports day and made herself so sick I did take her home without running the race.It was my first sports day too – the next year when her anxiety kicked in i was better able to handle it and she did run and every year since. We now celebrate completing the race even when it means “I did not come in last” is like a gold medal for my girl!

    Deb xx

    • you are right Deb, this parenting gig is very hard isnt it?! we all learn together along the way, glad to here things improved on sports day for you xoxo

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