For 7 months, I have had my teenage niece living with us. It has been a time of learning and growing for all of us.
Not only have I had constant contact with my niece, but I have met a number of her friends.
Teenage girls confuse me, although I am sure they confused me even when I was one myself. On one hand they seem like young adults, ready to face the world alone and full of confidence, but on the other, there is still that young child inside, unsure of where they stand in the world, and what they need to do to be more liked, or to find out who they really are.
It has led me to a bit of thinking, and here I have made a list of points from me to Teenage Girls out there. Funny thing is there probably won’t be any that will read it, but just getting it out there will make me feel better. I stopped at 10 points, but think I could have gone for days! Here they are:
1. You don’t need makeup: You are so very beautiful just as you are, you have unlined skin that women older than you look at and envy. It seems like you all want to hide under some mask you set for yourselves. I have to hold myself back from washing some of your faces for you. At such a young age, you do not want to put value on how you look in public, or the need to wear makeup whenever you are around others, it is simply not healthy.
2: He really isn’t worth it: You know that boy who makes you feel like you are the only girl in the world, before then playing with your heart and ripping it to pieces, only to say he will change, but does the same thing yet again? Yeah, that boy, he really isn’t worth it. He wants to play games with you, to make you feel that you cannot do better than him, I have news for, you can do better than him, and he really is not worth all those tears you cry, but you will need to cry them to work that out yourself.
3: Duck face self portraits look stupid: You may think you look sexy when you do that pouty duck face pose, but you don’t, you look silly, and the funny thing is that once you put that on the internet, they are there for ever. To think our generation were so scared of the pictures our parents would bring out at our 21st’s, when your generation is making your own set of embarrassing pictures for everyone to see.
4: There is more to life then Facebook: Lets be honest, it seems every teenager today has a Facebook account, and that is totally fine, but when you start spending a majority of your day on it, that is not fine. There is real life, tangible experiences to have that the internet cannot do for you. There are things to smell, taste, touch and feel out there, and you need to go out and explore them yourself, rather then liking the status and photos of others doing it themselves.
5: Those 6oo “Facebook Friends” you have are not all real Friends: Yep, it is pretty impressive all the friends you have on Facebook, it is just a pity that a majority of them would not even say hello to you if you passed them at the shops. While you know what each other got up to on the weekend, or what you had for dinner, they do not really know “you”. Your real friends are the ones who will check in on you when you need them, pick you up when you fall, and celebrate life with you, preferably in person.
6: Fear is ok, it is what you do with it that defines you : That job you are too afraid to apply for, or that assignment you are afraid of passing are all things that can make you scared. The cold hard reality is that there is always things in life to be afraid of, and simply ignoring them will unfortunately not go away. The big thing is that hard work and persistence really does pay off in the end, and you really will not know how far you can go, or what you are capable of until you try.
7: Life doesn’t get easier, you just get stronger: I hate to be the one to break this one to you, but it seems especially with women, some just do not grow out of that catty, gossipy stage, it hurts to find this out, especially when you are finally an adult and think that teenage bitchiness was a thing of your past. Adult hood also brings the added stress of bills, housework, and a bunch of everyday pressures. One day you will look back and wished you enjoyed being a teenager more. As I said, you will always find some hurdle or step in your life, it is how you handle it that shows how strong you really are.
8: Please cover your butt: No matter how slim you are, no one wants to see your bum cheeks hanging out of those little shorts that have less material in them then a pair of my undies.
9: Looks fade, but inner beauty doesn’t: It probably feels great to have a bunch of guys tell you how hot you are, or friends to say they wish they were as pretty as you. You are lucky to be so pretty, but the main thing in life it to match that beauty on the inside. You want to strive to be kind, compassionate, caring, truthful and honest, they are all marks of beauty that no age can taint.
10: Just be yourself: Hopefully you find that you have different ideas and tastes to some of your peers, that is totally ok. In a world that is constantly trying to change you, one of the hardest and most important things to do is to be yourself.
Dear Teenage Girl, I know that this list has made me seem terribly old, and I know that you will probably not listen to a word I have to say, many of life’s mistakes you need to make on your own to learn from.
I wish you all the best teenage girl, and of all the things I have to point out to you, I think #10 will be the most important for you forever, when all else fails, just simply Be Yourself.
Love and Hugs Teenage Girl, xoox
Love From Thirties Woman xoxox