It feels a little lately that I am juggling things, and not doing a very good job of that either.
In the last few months we have had loads going on as a family, and in a way it feels like we have not had the chance to stop for a breathe.
The pile of hurdles, obstacles, things to deal with has just grown.
If I am going to be honest, I will tell you I am overwhelmed.
I don’t think I am the only one either.
We have been brainstorming ideas on how to make things work at a little less hectic pace around here. I don’t know all the answers, but have come up with some ideas.
Next term we are cancelling all after school activities. Kiara has been anxious about dancing lessons each week, her passion for it has faded. She is a wonderful little dancer, but I am not going to push her to do something she doesnt want to do.
Swimming lessons are getting a break too. Thursdays have become full on with 2 seperate lessons for the kids. The kids have learnt a valueble life skill there that we need to keep working on, but the formal lessons need a break, even if only for a term.
I’m cancelling my dance lessons too. I have loved them, and know I will be back. I have enjoyed the time for myself, the knowledge that I will get to walk out that door by myself on a wednesday night. The social aspect of it all, the fun, the excercise, the challenge.
Dancing however has added to my exhaustion, the mental exhaustion of worrying about getting the dance right, pushing myself out that door after a draining day, and the feeling of any last module of energy being zapped.
A quick calculation of what we will save by taking a term off of these activities actually had me shocked at the expense we have been forking out.
I have put myself down, wondered why all these other families can deal with X,Y and Z in their life with little issues.
I know that life is not always as it seems, we all have our issues, our dramas, our moments. It is not that any one of us has it worse off, or finding it harder to cope with. It is just that we are all individuals, with our own set benchmark of limits.
I have come to mine.
Does that make me weak? I don’t know.
Does it make me a whinger? Perhaps.
What I do know is things need to change.
We are going to get outside more, to be honest it seems I have to encourage the kids to do that.
I am going to be more gentle on myself. The thought that I need to be back to “normal” in a set time is unrealistic.
The focus is going to be on the simple things.
Time together as a family, and time alone to recharge those batteries (as that just does not seem to be happening).
It seems our family are all tired, worn out and cranky, we are all stretched to our limit.
I’m hoping that getting back to basics, and away from the daily rush of endless destinations and activities will be just what we need.