Negative Nancy

We all seem to have one of those negative people in our lives, or what I refer to as a “Negative Nancy” (no offence if your name is Nancy!).

They are the people who leave you drained after you have had a conversation with them, they moan, they whine, they complain, they are downers, they zap your energy.

We all have down moments in our lives, and we can all do with a vent every now and then. In fact the down moments can be a blessing in disguise, as without them we sometimes take all the great moments in life for granted.

I am going to be completely honest, moments in my life I have found myself being rather negative, this was after all one of the main reasons why I started my Gratitude project, I wanted to focus on the great things in life, to see all the beautiful moments, even if they were little treasures laying amongst a really shitty day.

The negative people will look for anything to complain about, they refuse to see the little moments of joy in our daily lives, forget to thank people for their good deeds, and will be found moaning and complaining about any little thing if given the chance.

 The Passive Aggressive, The Narcissists, The Selfish ones,  The Martyrs, The Abusive, and some are all rolled into one!

Sometimes I will leave interacting with some of these people feeling utterly drained for days on end, or I will find myself with an internal dialogue of what I should have said, or how I should have reacted.

I have come to realise some of these people will NEVER change. Some relationships are severed due to how draining they can become. While some people are ones in our life we just can’t walk away from, but we can choose to spend less time with them, and/or work on how WE react to their negative energy.

A few weeks ago I put a call out on my facebook page for ideas on how to deal with other people’s negative energies, I was so impressed with the responses, and how well they have worked, that I thought I would share them as well as some of mine with others who may need some assistance in the Negative Nancy area. Here they are :

  • Distance yourself from the negative person, or spend less time then you usually would, remember to protect yourself from being too drained.


  • Know that you have the right to stand up for yourself and be assertive. Do not allow the negative person to use their issues to verbally attack you, you deserve to be treated with respect.


  • Imagine mirrors deflecting the negative energy back to the person, also imagine yourself in a bubble of  protecting golden light, in which their negative energies cannot get in.


  • Take a moment to stop, breathe, relax, remember who you are, that  you are happy, complete, and whole.


  • Do a meditation of imaging yourself breathing in pure, white air, and breathing out thick, black smog, which is the negative energy. Continue this until you can picture yourself only breathing in and out the pure white air.


  • Think of happy thoughts, memories, or take yourself to a place that makes you the most happy.


  • Send positive, loving thoughts to the negative person.


  • Remind yourself that it is about them, not you.


  • Acknowledge the feelings this person brings up in you, accept them, and then realise them back into the world.


  • Put the best of yourself out there, be the best person you can be, knowing at the end of the day, however they receive you is beyond your control.


  • Allow people to vent to you to a certain amount, but change the subject when it becomes a bit too overwhelming for you.


  • Ask the person what actions they are going to take to change the situation that is upsetting them so much.


  • Whilst taking a shower, imagine that the water is washing all the negative energy off you, and down the drain.

I would like to thank the lovely people who contributed to these fantastic tips, I have used many of them since reading them myself.

The other night I used the last one on the list, and as I stood in the shower, after a very draining hour and a half phone conversation, I immersed my head fully under the shower head, and was imagining all the yucky feelings being washed off me. I was so immersed in this relaxation state, that I didn’t know that my husband and 2 kids were standing in the bathroom for a good 3 mins, watching me without my knowledge! Apparently I looked pretty peaceful too!


3 thoughts on “Negative Nancy

  1. I like to call these people “mood hoovers” because any enthusiasm, postitvity or happiness are sucked out of me in their company 🙂

  2. Thank you for these words of advice. Have a sister that has been draining our families energy for years. I have decided to” Divorce” her!!!!! Now I just need to learn to release her from my life and feel ok about it. Not easy, but it is the only option. I hope you can do the same with the tToxic people in your life. Love to all.

  3. Pingback: Simplify your life {Week 40 Negative or Toxic people}

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